Death Note, InsaneLy In Love 2: Twice The Insanity
by cupckeshrk8D
Summary: Someone new joined the task force, and L found himself in love. InsaneLy in love. Emphasis on insane. After the events of Death Note, InsaneLy in Love, (Or maybe during? I don't know) more stuff happens! Beware of Death Note InsaneLy in Love spoilers
1. Chapters 1 & 2

Death Note, InsaneLy In Love 2: Twice The Insanity

A Sequel To A Garbage Death Note Fanfic Parodying Garbage Death Note Fanfics

Someone new joined the task force, and L found himself in love. InsaneLy in love. Emphasis on insane. After the events of Death Note, InsaneLy in Love, (Or maybe during? I don't know) more stuff happens! BEWARE OF DEATH NOTE INSANELY IN LOVE SPOILERS! AND ALSO DEATH NOTE SPOILERS!

Chapter 1, Didn't the previous fic end with L and Bethany dying?

AN: Hello! It's me again. The author of Death Note, InsaneLy in Love! You probably thought it was over. But it's not. YAY! Well it's sort of not over. I have no good ideas, so I'm writing more of this. However, Death Note, InsaneLy in Love (or as it shall now be abbreviated DN,ILiL) has a very clear ending. It's kinda hard to write a sequel when both of your protagonists die in the first story. So this isn't really a sequel. It's a collection of various one shots, Q&A sessions, and whatever random other stuff I feel like writing. Everything is non canon (to DN,ILiL, it's obviously not canon to Death Note) unless otherwise specified. I just had so much fun with DN,ILiL that I wanted to write more with these characters. Enjoy! (Also I do not own Death Note. If I did, it would have a sequel filled with various one shots, Q&A sessions, and whatever random other stuff I feel like writing.) This fic, unlike DN,ILiL is not already finished. The first 3 chapters and part of the fourth were written before I started posting this. Everything after is brand new, and I'll be able to take stuff said in reviews into account. Also, chapters 1 and 2 are in this chapter because chapter 1 is just a long author's note.

Chapter 2, Let us begin this unnecessary sequel

AN: I have no ideas, so let's start with a Q&A session! Also, Light is sane in this.

"HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER DN,ILiL Q&A SHOW!" shouted Shakespeare like a mad scientist game show announcer who was shouting. "TODAY WE HAVE BETHANY ANNE ISABELLA MARINA SMITH, L, AND LIGHT ON THE SHOW! QUESTION 1 IS FOR BETHANY ANNE ISABELLA MARINA SMITH! WHY IS YOUR NAME SO LONG!" shouted Shakespeare like the author's favorite character who was shouting. "Apparently it's because the initials are supposed to also stand for Blatant Author Insert Mary Sue. I have have no idea why. That's just what it says on the cue card." answered Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith. "It's stupid! I'm not a Mary Sue! My name isn't even Mary Sue! It's Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith! And I'm clearly not a Mary Sue because I'm an amazing OC! I'm smarter than L, I'm insanely beautiful. everyone loves me, everyone who doesn't is an evil beep, I'm really trustworthy, I'm kind, I'm humble, I'm nice, I have the best boyfriend, It was love at first sight, I have great fashion sense, I'm a genius, I have future vision, Shakespeare was my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather, I have an amazing singing voice, I'm really athletic, I don't care about looks, I'm really good at" Before she could finish, Shakespeare interrupted her. "ALRIGHT NEXT QUESTION! L! IF YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER, WHY DON'T YOU ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!" shouted Shakespeare like a person who just interrupted a long rant who was shouting. L didn't say anything, as he wasn't actually there. Instead there was a piece of cardboard with the letter L drawn on it. After all, it didn't matter if L was there. His personality is basically nothing. "THIS SHOW IS BORING! WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?" shouted Shakespeare like a bored medieval king who was shouting. (AN: Light, tell Shakespeare this show is hilarious!) "Shakespeare, the author says this show is hilarious." said Light in a bored monotone. (AN: Tell Shakespeare he's fired!) "Shakespeare, the author says you're fired." Shakespeare started crying at the top his lungs, until he was kicked out by security. "Who's going to be the new host?" asked Light. (AN: You! Now go ask the next question!) Light picked up Shakespeare's question cards. He decided not to get in to an argument with the author, as last time he made that mistake he ended up with a broken arm. "Question 3 is for me. What is your favorite color? … Really? That's the question I get. … Fine. My favorite colour is red." "Stop saying colour! Your in America now! It's color" yelled Beth. "Is that supposed to a reference to something? That line feels stupid even by this fic's standards." replied Light. (AN: Yes. Also this fic isn't stupid) "It's an unnecessary sequel to a garbage fanfic that parodies garbage fanfics. It's pretty stupid." (AN: SHUT UP!) "Fortunately we've run out of time."

AN: The Q&A shows have canon (to the fic, obviously not canon to Death Note) answers, but they themselves are not canon. For example, if Light was asked, are you secretly an alligator disguised as a human, and he answers no, I'm a crocodile, than it's canon that he is a crocodile, but not canon that he ever revealed his secret. Also this is an example. Light is not a crocodile.


	2. DN,ILiL presents Romeo and Juliet

Chapter 3, DN,ILiL presents Romeo and Juliet

AN: I actually really like Romeo and Juliet. I was joking when I called it boring. I don't own Romeo and Juliet. If I did, Tybalt would be an awesome detective, and Romeo would have a death note. When ever a character shows up, it will say in parentheses who they are playing.

The Prologue

 _The Author (Chorus) addresses the audience_

The Author: Two households both alike in dignity,

In fair Verona where we lay our scene

From ancient grudge, break to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean:

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,

A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life:

Whose misadventured piteous overthrows,

Doth with their death bury their parents' strife

The fearful passage of their death-marked love,

And the continuance of their parents' rage,

Which but their children's end nought could remove,

Is now the subject of this garbage fanfic.

Any way, on with the story!

Act 1 Scene 1

 _Mikami (Gregory) and Takada (Sampson) are talking_

Mikami: The Montagues are jerks.

Takada: You're right!

Mikami: Especially L.

Takada: Yeah! L is a beep! He's just so beep annoying! beep!

 _Enter Mello (Abraham) and Matt (Balthazar)_

Mello: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Takada: … Uh

Mello: Were you insulting someone?

Takada: … Yes

Mello: Were you insulting L?

Takada: Uh … Will I get in trouble if I did?

Mello: Yes. _He draws his sword_

 _They Fight_

Takada: Do you mind helping out?

Mikami: If God wants me to. _He draws his sword_ If he does not, we shall see some sign

Mello: HEY! Two against one! That's not fair! Matt, help me out!

Matt: …

Mello: MATT!

Matt: …

Mello: FINE! _He draws his gun_

Takada: Hey!

Mello: What? Two against one isn't fair. I'm leveling the playing field

Mikami: I'm pretty sure they didn't have handguns back then

Mello: _Shoots Mikami, killing him_ Shut up.

 _Enter the cops, Random Background Characters 1-3, Light (Capulet), and Misa (Lady Capulet),_

 _The cops arrest Mello then leave, a riot breaks out_

Random Background Character 1: AAAAAA!

Random Background Character 2: Down with the Montagues!

Random Background Character 3: Down with the Capulets!

Light: Hey! I'm right here!

Random Background Character 1: AAAAAA!

Light: Wow. You're annoying. Was AAAAAA the only dialogue the author could come up with?

Random Background Character 1: AAAAAA!

Mikami: Shut up! You're annoying God!

Mello: Didn't I shoot you?

Mikami: It's just a flesh wound.

Misa: CAN MISA MISA HAVE A LINE?

Author: _From offstage_ No the scene's going on to long.

Misa: :(

Light: Wait … Wasn't Mello arrested?

 _Enter Matsuda (Prince)_

Matsuda: Stop Fighting!

Takada: Shut up Matsuda!

Matsuda: Hey! I'm the Prince in this! Cops!

 _Enter Cops_

Matsuda: Take Takada and Mello away. Also get an ambulance for Mikami.

Mikami: It's just a flesh wound!

Matsuda: Now stop fighting. Light, you and Watari need to settle your conflict. This was the seventh riot this week! And it's only Tuesday!

Light: Never!

 _Exit Everyone_

 _Enter Watari (Montague) and Near (Benvolio)_

Watari: L seems really sad. I wonder what's bloody wrong with him?

Near: I'm a genius, so I'll figure it out. _Fiddles with a toy robot_ Gosh Darn It! I have no idea what's wrong.

Light: _From offstage_ Really? Now you're just slightly rephrasing dialogue from DN,ILiL

Author: _From offstage_ Shut Up!

Watari:Well, then go talk to him. I'm going to go drink some tea. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

Author: _From offstage_ This doesn't take place in England!

Watari: Ok. Who is the leader?

Author: _From offstage_ Matsuda plays the prince.

Watari: GOD SAVE MATSUDA!

 _Watari exits, L (Romeo) enters_

L: I'm sad.

Near: What's wrong L?

L: I'm sad.

Near: Why are you sad?

L: My heart is broken

Near: What happened?

Author: _From offstage_ Yeah! What's happening? And say it quickly this scene has been going on way to long!

L: 0ften doesn't want to date me.

Near: Wait, you want to date my daughter? No. Come on, let's go find you a crush that isn't related to me.

L: Fine, but I love 0ften and nothing can change that.

Near: You barely know her.

 _They exit_

Act 1 Scene 2

 _Light, Mikami, and BB (Paris) are talking_

BB: Hey can I marry your daughter?

Light: Hmm … You are a genius, but she's like 13.

BB: Who cares? Can I marry your daughter?

Light: Only is she wan _He is interrupted_

 _Enter Author_

Author: Sorry, but we're out of time. Scene one lasted way to long. This is going to have to be split into two parts.

Mikami: Hey! At least let God finish his line!

Author: No. Also, didn't Mello shoot you?

Mikami: It's just a flesh wound.

THE END! OF PART 1!

AN: In this Romeo and Juliet parody, there have been and will be, characters that never appeared in DN,ILiL. Though this sequel is not canon to DN,ILiL, the characters' personalities are.


	3. DN,ILiL presents Romeo and Juliet Part 2

Chapter 4, DN,ILiL presents Romeo and Juliet Part 2

Act 1 Scene 2

 _Light, Mikami, and BB are talking_

BB: Hey can I marry your daughter?

Light: Hmm … You are a genius, but _He is interrupted_

Author: _from offstage_ Hey! We already heard this part! Start from when BB leaves!

 _BB leaves_

Light: Hey Mikami, here's the guestlist for tonight's party. _Hands the list to Mikami_

 _Light Leaves_

Mikami: Uh … God? I can't read your handwriting.

 _Enter L and Near_

Mikami: Uh can you read this? _Hands the list to L_

L: Oh yeah.

Mikami: What does it say?

L: Uh it says that Takada and Random Background Character 1 are no longer invited, and that Mikami, Soichiro, Matsuda, Random Background Character 2, and 0ften are all still invited.

Mikami: Thank you! If you want you can come to the party. As long as you're not a Montague.

L: Uh … Yeah … I'm definitely not a Montague

 _Mikami Leaves_

Near: What! Do you really think Light's not going to recognise you? You're the son of his enemy!

L: Yeah, but 0ften is going to be there.

Near: You barely know her

L: You don't understand love

 _They Exit_

Act 1 Scene 3

 _Misa and Halle (Nurse) are talking_

Misa: WHERE'S BETHANY? I NEED 2 TALK 2 HER!

Halle: _Shouts to offstage_ Bethany! Your mother _she is interrupted_

Author: _From offstage_ Writing the entire play is taking to long! I'm a busy author. I have more important things to do. Like sitting around for hours checking to see if someone has reviewed my fic. We're skipping ahead to Act 2 Scene 2.

Act 2 Scene 2

 _Bethany (Juliet) is atop her balcony_

 _L enters_

L: I think you are attractive

Bethany: I wish you weren't a Montague, because I also think you are attractive

L: Let's get married in secret

Bethany: Okay!

Light: _From offstage_ Really?

Author: _From offstage_ That's basically what this scene is. I just made it less poetic.

Light: _From offstage_ Is this even Death Note fanfiction any more?

Author: _From offstage_ Shut Up!

Act 2 Scene 3

Author: _From offstage_ Skipping again!

Act 3 Scene 1

 _Rester (Mercutio) and Near are talking_

Near: Well, that was an interesting adventure we had offscreen that the audience will never see.

Rester: My favorite part was when L was actually in character for once.

 _There is an awkward pause_

Near: Uh … _Whispering so the audience hopefully won't hear them_ Wasn't that Soichiro's que?

Rester: _In an attempt to stall_ So … Near, how's this weather?

Near: Uh …

Rester: Have you read Fox in Socks?

Author: _From offstage_ Stop referencing stuff no one will get!

 _Soichiro (Tybalt) rushes onstage_

Soichiro: Sorry! _Kills Rester with his sword_

 _Enter L_

L: Hey! You killed a guy I never actually interacted with on screen! How dare you! _Draws his sword_

 _They Fight_

Light: _From offstage_ They Fight? Wow, that's descriptive

Author: _From offstage_ That's actually what it says in the original

 _Enter Matsuda_

Matsuda: What! You killed Soichiro! You're now banished!

Act I don't know Scene It doesn't matter

 _Light and Misa are talking Bethany is also in the room_

Misa: SO BETH IS LIKE REALLY SAD CAUSE SOICHIRO DIED!

Bethany: Um … Yes that is definitely why I am upset. I am such a great actor!

Light: I know how to cheer her up!

 _Enter BB_

Light: Hey Bethany, want to marry this guy?

Bethany: What! No! I barely know him! Also he's not attractive! Also I'm secretly married to L!

Light: What did you say?

Bethany: Nothing. Time to fake my death! _Falls to the floor_

Misa: OH NO! :( SHE IS DEAD!

 _Everyone except Beth leaves, Enter L_

L:Wait! Bethany is dead! Even when she's dead she looks so alive. Might as well kill myself. _Poisons himself_

Bethany: _Wakes up_ This plan is perfect! Oh no! L's dead! Maybe I should have told him ahead of time. Well, time to kill myself. _Picks up the poison_ Wait! How dare you drink all the poison! Guess I have to stab myself. _She dies_

 _Enter Light, Misa, and Watari_

Watari: OH NO OUR CHILDREN ARE DEAD! GOD SAVE MATSUDA!

Light: This is probably our fault. We should stop fighting.

MISA: WHERE IS UR WIFE WHO WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED?

Watari: She bloody died offscreen.

Author: The End!

AN: I hope you enjoyed this. This is not the end of DN,ILiL 2, just the end of this Romeo and Juliet parody. The line about Fox in Socks is a reference to an attempt to stall when someone didn't show up for their que in a play I was in in real life. Sorry the fic is kind of rushed at the end. All mentions of suicide are not intended to make fun of suicide. It is merely intended to make fun of Romeo and Juliet.


	4. Insert Chapter Name Here

Chapter 5, Insert Chapter Name Here

AN:Enjoy this short one shot for the Fourth of July.

It was the Fourth of July. Because this is in America for some reason. Soichiro was having a barbecue party for the Fourth of July. Because America. Matsuda was talking to Aizawa. He said something stupid and Aizawa yelled at him to shut up. Light was dramatically eating potato chips. Misa and Bethany were arguing, because we're already throwing continuity out the window so why not have dead characters show up. L was waiting for dessert because why would he want to eat hamburgers. Mello was being grouchy because Near was their and he didn't like Near. The author was stalling while she tried to actually come up with plot. Suddenly there was a loud noise! "What was that?" asked L. "It was probably just fireworks." said Soichiro. Because this is the Fourth of July. Because America. "That makes sense I guess." said L. But then the noise happened again! "What was that?" asked L. "It was probably just fireworks." said Soichiro. Because this is the Fourth of July. Because America. "That makes sense I guess." said L. "Wow you're being lazy. You're just copying and pasting to fake length." said Light. (AN: Shut up!) But then the noise happened again! "What was that?" asked L. "It was probably just fireworks." said Soichiro. Because this is the Fourth of July. Because America. "That makes sense I guess." said L. "Wow you're being lazy. You're just copying and pasting to fake length." said Light. (AN: Shut up!) "Really? You copied my complaining as well?" said Light. (AN: Shut up!) "You're even copying your response." But then the noise happened a fourth time and this time it was nearby so they knew it wasn't fireworks. "What was that?" asked L. "It was probably just fireworks." said Soichiro. Because this is the Fourth of July. Because America. "That doesn't make sense. It sounded like an alien spaceship." said L. And it was an alien spaceship! And the spaceship landed in the backyard and aliens came out of the spaceship. They were space rectangles like from 2001 A Space Odyssey. But they were not like those space rectangles because they were weird. "Oh my Kira!" said Mikami who was totally there the whole time.(AN: Get it? Because Mikami worships Kira) "We are the space rectangles and we hate the Fourth of July! So we plan to stop it by ruining this one random barbecue!" shouted the space rectangles. "What! How dare you try to ruin the Fourth of July!" shouted Bethany. And she pulled out her gun and shot at them. She used her future vision to predict how they will dodge so she didn't miss." (AN: Don't ask why she didn't use this back in chapter 11 of the first fic) But the space rectangles did not die! Because they are immortal! (AN: It was because I didn't think of it until now okay!) Anyway the space rectangles we're not dying. So Bethany pulled out a second gun and was shooting twice as hard. And all the police officers pulled out their guns and were shooting the space rectangles with their police guns. Then the space rectangles died and they exploded and the spaceships exploded and their were more explosions. The explosions were like fireworks. Everyone stood back and stared up at the sky at the fireworks/explosions and L ate cake and everyone was happy. The End

AN: Sorry this chapter is even more garbage than usual. I decided to write a Fourth of July chapter, but didn't start it until the actual day itself, so I decided to rush and see what a chapter written in like 30 minutes would be like. This was not intended to have any political commentary. I just wrote about guns and space aliens for no reason.


	5. Another Q&A

Chapter 6, Another Q&A

"We're still doing this?" said Light. "Didn't you fire Shakespeare last time?" (AN: Of course we're still doing it! You're supposed to ask the questions now, remember) "Of course I remember, I just thought that was just so you could finish it. I didn't realise we were still doing this. I would have thought you were at least smart enough to realise how stupid this is." (AN: Shut Up! Just read the cards I gave you!) "Uh you didn't give me anything." Just then Light realised he had been totally holding the index cards the entire time. "Okay, I guess" Light looked at the first card. "Today we have Bethany and … nobody else." Bethany smiled and waved at the camera. "Question 1, What do you like to do in your spare time?" "Go on dates with my awesome boyfriend obviously!" said Bethany. "Is it just me, or has the universe switched from calling you Beth to calling you Bethany." said Light. (AN: That's not on the question cards!) "I'm ready for the next question!" said Bethany. "Question 2, What do you think of the members of the task force?" asked Light. "Matsuda was great, it's really sad that he died." answered Bethany. "The question was about everyone on the taskforce not just Matsuda." "Who were the other members again? Oh yeah! Soichiro! He helped us catch Higuchi! I think … was that him or Aizawa? It doesn't matter. They aren't important!" Bethany smiled. "Your smile is kind of creepy. (AN: Not important. We need to focus on the random trivia literally nobody asked for!) Question 3, How did you feel when you were stuck in the past?" asked Light. "It was the worst thing ever!" cried Bethany at the top of her lungs. "I couldn't be with L, and nobody would be able to stop Beyond Birthday and " "BB wasn't really a threat. He just stood there and did nothing. He didn't even have dialogue." "DON'T INTERRUPT ME!" screamed Bethany. "Your job is to ask questions so the audience can no about me. Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith. The author's perfect OC who everyone loves! Anyway, where was I?" Bethany smiled, all the anger in her perfect, beautiful face vanishing in an instant. "Oh yeah! I was lost in the past, and it was all Mello's fault! I don't blame him though. I forgave him instantly. Because I'm nice. I'm kind. I care about people. Unlike you. You BEEP!" "Uh … Next question! Question 4, … Do you actually care about people? (AN: Uh … That's not what it says on the card!) Or do you just care about your stupid story? Where you get to be the hero and save the day and everyone loves and you get to date your favorite character! Do you even love him? Do you actually love L? Or is he just another part of your perfect life?" "Of course I love him! He's my boyfriend! How dare you!" screamed Bethany, her smile quickly turning in to a frown. "Stop lying. I already know the real answer. I just want you to admit it." "SHUT UP!" yelled Bethany. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! SHUT UP!" "You're just a monster who pretends to have a heart. You lie and pretend you are a nice person, but that is all you are. You're a monster created by someone who felt like writing something about her favorite anime. You're hatred at people who see through your fake emotions isn't even real. You aren't real. You aren't even based on something real. Everything about you is fake. You're an author insert who isn't based on the author. You're based a hypothetical terrible fanfiction author, made purely for the sake of a parody fic." (AN: SHUT UP! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! SHUT UP!) Bethany screamed, pulling out her gun, pointing it at Light. "You won't. You're fake. The real author insert, the author's notes needs me to ask people questions. To poke fun at her terrible writing. To point out plot holes. To be reasonable when everyone else is insane. To lampshade tropes. You won't. She needs me for this fic to be at least slightly good. Just like she needs you so that this fic has a reason to exist. You won't shoot me. My death won't provide motivation for someone. My death won't happen instead of a main character's. My death won't move the story forward. It will end it. You won't shoot me." (AN: Ironic last words) The trigger pulled, a bang, a body collapsing to the floor, blood pooling out underneath it, a main character's death, a rainstorm in a graveyard, a bouquet on a grave, a face wet from the sky's tears and her own, a rage at learning the reason for her grief, a scream as more blood was spilled, no guilt for her revenge, a second grave, more flowers, more tears, more sorrow, all the sorrow vanishing as the world reset, continuity once again vanishing, as the deaths of a god and hero were soon forgotten


	6. The Snark Knight

Chapter 7, The Snark Knight

AN: So I'm starting a new thing with this story, where I'll write various au one shots. If you want, if you are reviewing the fic, you can include a suggestion for the next one. It can be anything from a high school au to having it take place in the future. (You can also ask questions for Mello for the next Q&A) This chapter will have them as superheroes. (Purely so I could make that snark knight pun)

It was night in the city of Ican'tcomeupwithaname, thunder crashing as lightning struck down from the sky. The mysterious superhero L stood on the rooftop of a 23 story skyscraper looking down at the city. Behind him stood his two sidekicks, N and M. Suddenly L jumped off the roof. He landed on top of his helicopter, being piloted by Watari, the police officer. The helicopter then landed on the roof. N and M climbed in. N buckled his seatbelt, M of course, did not. They flew towards the bank of Ican'tcomeupwithaname, where a bank robbery was taking place. The helicopter was soon directly above the street in front of the bank, and the three superheroes parachuted down. Except for L, who just flew down. L gasped! It was his arch nemesis robbing the bank! Light Yagami! The Snark Knight! "We have you surrounded! Put the money down!" shouted L. M smirked, his hands glowing with fire, ready to attack. L's nemesis wouldn't go down without a fight. "You don't have me surrounded. There's only three of you." said Light. Light pulled out his magical sword of lampshading as he darted into the bank behind him. M launched his fireballs at the bank, blowing the front door open and rushed inside. "Could we keep the collateral damage to a minimum?" asked L as he and N followed M into the building. N seemed to glow as the room grew colder, the floor being covered in slippery ice. Light fell to the floor, and so did M. "Hey! Not everyone can fly or not slip on ice!" shouted M. Light began to stand up. "I see you got some help. Playing with fire and an ice person. What? You couldn't defeat me on your own?" said Light, smirking. L raised his arm, sending Light flying towards him. Light grinned, raising his sword to strike L. N created an ice shield, barely in time. Light's sword embedded in the ice, M got ready to attack. Fire balls launched toward Light, melting the ice barrier, letting it to fly back into Light's hands. "Two words. Clingy MacGuffin." said Light, using his sword to block the remaining fireballs. Distracted by blocking the fireballs, Light didn't notice N behind him, and was frozen in a ice block. "All right, the police should be here soon." said L. "Let's finish this now!" said M, his eyes glowing as his started to burn Light's prison. "BEEP Red eyes, take warning." said Light, as his prison was now melted enough for him to talk. "What the heck M!" shouted N as he shielded Light before M could kill him. "Wow you guys are great at teamwork." said Light grinning as he stabbed at L. L flew out of the way, and threw him against the floor with his gravity powers. "The police are almost here. Then it's jail for you." said L. Just as Light broke free and bolted toward the exit, the police, including the police chief, Bethany arrived. "I guess Muggles do it better." said Light as she shot him. "Guess I defeated your arch nemesis." said Bethany. L blushed, and kissed his girlfriend. "I guess it's time to fix the collateral damage and return the stolen money." said L. "Maybe next time!" said M as the building burst into flames and in the chaos he escaped with the money.

AN: I hope you enjoyed this oneshot. For clarification, L has gravity powers, Near has ice powers, Mello has fire powers, and Light has a magic sword powered by lampshading tropes.


	7. A fallen friend

Chapter 7.5, A fallen friend

AN: Hello! So I decided to split this chapter into two parts. Mainly so I can get the chapter numbers to actually match what chapters they are. Also this chapter, and it's second part are canon to DN,ILiL.

"It was Christmas eve. Everyone was happy. But then it happened. Matsuda collapsed to the floor. "No!" screamed Bethany, shocked at the death of her coworker. L quickly diagnosed the victim. "He has no pulse." said L. "You're so smart L!" said Bethany, hugging her boyfriend. "It appears that Matsuda did not die of a heart attack. He choked to death on a candy cane." "So he wasn't killed by Kira!" realised Bethany. "Yes. He wasn't murdered. He was just stupid." said L. Suddenly Light ran in to the room! "Is Matsuda okay?" "No, he just choked to death." said L. Light then passed out, because he just jumped out a window and ran like ten blocks. The next day it was Matsuda's funeral. The task force were all standing in the graveyard and crying. L wore his usual white shirt and blue jeans, and a black clip on tie. Light was wearing a shirt and khakis or something. Bethany was wearing a black long sleeve dress with black lace and a large black bow on the back. Her dark brown hair was tied in a ponytail with a black bow. Bethany looked up at the sunset, tears streaming down her cheeks as she wondered about the future. What would happen now? Why did Matsuda die? He didn't deserve it. How would she deal with this? Would it affect her character development? Or would she remain a one dimensional mary sue? She thought about everything that happened, losing her parents, falling in love, getting stranded trying to protect her love, and when she thought peace was achieved ... her friends dying. Could she truly protect her friends? Or were they doomed to die anyway? She collapsed to the ground, her shaking knees unable to support her. Lost in her thoughts and tears, the universe seemed to disappear around her. The sun setting into darkness, the darkness fading to an infinite void of nothingness. Lost in thought, lost in her own mind. "Why did this have to happen to me!" screamed Bethany into the empty void. Reflections of her surrounded her, all smiling, perfect and beautiful. "WHY? THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED!" she screamed into the void, the void not responding. "THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED! THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED!" Her screams echoed around her. "I'M PERFECT! MY LIFE IS PERFECT! WHY ISN'T THIS PERFECT?" The void did not answer. "I'LL BRING HIM BACK! I'LL FIND A LIFE NOTE!" The void did not answer. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I DON'T SCREW UP!" The void did not answer. "I'M PERFECT! EVERYONE LOVES ME! THEY LOVE ME! WHY WOULDN'T THEY! I'M PERFECT!" The void did not answer. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! SHUT UP!" The void did not answer. "SHUT UP! I'M PERFECT! I'M NOT A MARY SUE! I'M NOT A BAD OC! I'M PERFECT!" The void did not answer. "I'M BETHANY ANNE ISABELLA MARINA SMITH! I'M PERFECT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, punching her reflection. It shattered, glass shards falling to the floor, her hand bleeding. Bethany screamed, pulling out her gun and shooting her mocking reflections. She collapsed to the ground, her shaking knees unable to support her. Crying on the ground in a pile of glass shards and her own blood. "Why are you doing this?" asked the void.


	8. A lost hope

Chapter 8, A lost hope

"Why are you doing this?" asked the void. "Who said that?" asked Bethany, slowly standing up. In front of her appeared a familiar face. L. But he was transparent, like he wasn't really there. "Why are you doing this?" asked L. "I … don't … know. I don't know!" said Bethany through her tears. "I'm perfect. I don't fail. Every goes my way! It always has. Why? Why did he die? Why couldn't I save him? Am I not perfect?" She stumbled, falling into her love's arms. "You still love me … right? Do you still love me? … You still love me … right?" "Why are you doing this?" asked L. "I don't know. I just … I've always been perfect. Things always go my way. Always. But … now, I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not perfect. Will people still like me? Do you still like me? … I need to be perfect. Everyone loves me. But I'm not perfect. … I don't know what to do. I need to be perfect. So people will like me. But … I don't know what to do." Crying in her boyfriend's arms, in the infinite void of her own mind. (AN: Hello) "Who are you?" (AN: The author) "I'm a good character … right? I'm perfect. Do people like me? I'm perfect … right? You created me, I'm perfect … aren't I?" (AN: You're a Mary Sue) "I can improve … I can grow … I can change! I'll be better! I'll be perfect! I can be the great OC you want!" (AN: You're supposed to be a terrible OC) "I can improve … please! Please! I know I can!" (AN: We can't have character development) "But … I can be perfect … Just let me … I can improve!" (AN: This is a parody of terrible fanfics. You are supposed to be a terrible OC. With this character development, you're not funny) "No! I can … I can … No!" her screams echoed throughout the void, as night stars appeared in the sky, and she was back in the graveyard. "Are you okay?" asked L, helping her get back up. "Of course I'm okay! I just fell. Come on, let's go. I want to open my Christmas presents." "Don't you care about Matsuda! He died!" shouted Light, still feeling guilty about his failed attempt to save him. "It's his fault he died. Matsuda was an idiot." said Bethany. And L and Bethany walked away from Matsuda's grave, unaware of the character development it had caused.


	9. advanced Biology

Chapter 9, advanced Biology

AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. From now on I'm going to try to update every saturday morning, rather than my previous schedule of completely random times because who needs a schedule. This is the second DN,ILiL AU, this one being a high school AU.

Bethany was sitting in class, staring at the clock. Five more minutes. She groaned. Advanced Biology is the worst. She smiled at her boyfriend L, who was sitting on the other side of the classroom. After what felt like an eternity, the bell rang and everyone rushed out of the classroom. "Hey Bethany, have you seen Mello?" asked Near. "I think he's absent. So L, want to go to the movies tonight?" asked Bethany. "Okay." said L. "What do you want to see?" "Generic Romantic Comedy 2: The Pointless Sequel" said Bethany. "Okay." said L. Bethany then walked home and went to her room to do her her advanced Biology homework. She did her homework. It was nighttime and went to the movies with L. The movie was as generic and pointless as the title suggested. After the movie they went to a dinner and had diner. They ate food and the day was over. They slept and then want to school the next day. Then it was the weekend. They did stuff. Then more shool. Then it was summer vacetion and I guess stuff happened over the summer? Mayve Near goat a tattoo. I don't now? "This is the worst chapta" said Light. Shut up. "Wow. did not even put it in an authors not?" Shut up. "Really" I dunno … I just sorta gave up with this chapter I'm out of ideas but I don't want to stop writing I feel like I need to update but I couldn't think of what to write I figured high shool au but then it turned out boring "are u okay?" yeah just have writers block. I think I'll try again. Sorry for this garbage start. Bethany then walked home and went to her room to do her her advanced Biology homework. She completed it quickly, as she was really good at math. She sat on her bed, waiting for it to be time for her date with L. She smiled, thinking about how awesome her boyfriend is and how perfect her life is. Her phone buzzed, L had texted her to let her know he was almost at her house. Bethany rushed downstairs and sat down on the front porch. L reached her house and Bethany kissed him on the cheek. They walked to the movies together. L bought Bethany some popcorn and got himself a box of gummy bears. They sat down in their seats and watched the movie. Generic Romantic Comedy 2: The Pointless Sequel was just as wonderful as Bethany imagined, as everything was wonderful. Her life was perfect and there was no conflict. Also sitting in the theater was a very bored individual who still thought this was the worst chapter. After the movie they went to a nearby 50's themed diner. Bethany and L sled into the bright red booth next to the window. They ordered their food and lovingly stared into each other's eyes. L blushed, and they kissed. Sitting in the booth on the other side of the room was a person annoyed that this chapter was still dull as before, just now the dullness was more detailed. The waitress brought them their food, a burger and fries for Bethany and a slice of strawberry shortcake for L. They soon finished their food and walked outside. As the stars in the sky shined above them, Bethany and L started walking home, holding hands. "This is incredibly boring." said someone who was also walking on the sidewalk. It was the same person from the movie theater and also the diner. It was Light! (AN: A twist that surprises no one) "At least chapter 4 from DN,ILiL had Atari trying to kill L. This chapter is just Bethany and L going on a date. Write something interesting." said Light. "You know … How come the acronym is used in dialogue? Wouldn't it make more sense to say the whole thing? Also what happened to Atari? … I mean Watari. Whatever." At that moment Light was shot in the head! It was Watari! He was hiding in a nearby twenty three story skyscraper with his sniper rifle! But he missed and killed Mikami instead! "EW! Blood! Light this is your fault. Clean it up!" Bethany screamed. "How is this my fault?" asked Light. "You're the crazy person talking to the voices in your head!" said Bethany. "Wait? If Watari is evil in this, then he stood next to the time machine when Bethany and Mello went to the future. Is this an AU or not?" asked Light. "See! You are BEEP insane!" said Bethany. Their conversation quickly ended when Watari shot again. This time he did not miss and Light died. "This is like the third time I've died." (AN: Shut up. You shouldn't know about the first time. Also you're dead.)

AN: Sorry for this garbage chapter. I sat down to wright but this is all I could think off. I hope it was still funny anyway. Like I said in the first author's note, I'm going to try and update saturday mornings. But I will write the chapters ahead of time, rather than trying to write chapters right before posting them like I have been doing so far. Hopefully I can stick to my schedule. [the barrier weakens] Also, I do not actually hate advanced Biology. I don't like either. My feelings towards it are rather neutral, as I have never taken an advanced Biology class.


	10. A mysterious conversation

Chapter 10, A mysterious conversation

AN: Sorry. I completely failed at keeping a proper schedule. I really shouldn't have said I was going to have a schedule until I could at least write one chapter in advance. I couldn't think of anything to write but I couldn't write about a lack of ideas because I did that last time. So this chapter is something I was going to write later, but I decided I should just do it know, because I can't think of anything else. This is the Mello interview I mentioned earlier. From now on the Q&A's will be called interviews.

"Welcome back to Q&A chapters. (AN: They're called interviews now) Whatever." said Light "Today's chapter we have Mello, also known as Mihael Keehl. Before I ask the questions I'm being forced to ask, I have one question for the author. If you're okay with that of course. I don't want you to break my arm or something. (AN: Yeah okay) Are we not going to adress what happened last time? (AN: Huh?) Oh come on. Did you really forget what happened in your own fic? Bethany murdered me! And then she was killed by Misa! Are you really not going to acknowledge your own plot? Or the closest thing this garbage has to a plot. (AN: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT! I reset the timeline! I erased your memories! That chapter wasn't canon!) I started reading your fanfiction. (AN: Okay, I guess that makes sense.)" "I have no idea what is going on." said Mello, who had been there the entire time. "I'm supposed to interviewed and instead you're talking to some voice in your head. Also, what's this about chapters and fanfic? You are completely insane." "Oh yeah. You're here. Uh, I have another question, if you're okay with it. (AN: Okay) Are you okay? (AN: Huh?) Are you okay? You seem to have some anger issues and stuff. (AN: Nah, it's just comedy) And some of the recent chapters have been kinda angsty. (AN: I just wanted to try something different with my writing) Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Chapters 7.5 and 8 were really angsty. It got me thinking. For a mary sue you actually managed to give her some depth. I mean, she went from a flat mary sue to an BEEP Woobie. Wow. Won't even allow swear words for trope names. (AN: I'm not against swearing or anything, I'd just feel embarrassed showing my work to other people if it was full of swear words. … I just realised this discussion of Bethany's characterization sounds like I'm using you as a puppet to compliment my garbage fanfiction.) Normally I'm a puppet used to insult your fanfiction. You know … reading your fanfiction got me thinking. Am I even Light anymore? Was I ever Light? I started reading some stuff about Death Note online and … Light, the canon Light isn't really a good person. (AN: Yeah he's kind of terrible. Well not just kind of. He's a murderer who manipulates everyone so he can become a "god". You're okay though. You haven't been in character really. You were the one person who was going to be in character, but I failed at that. You ended up being a snarky voice for the part of me that thinks my fanfic is garbage) I honestly don't know who I am anymore. My entire life has been a lie. The universe didn't really begin until Bethany showed up. All my memories from before where you started writing are false. It's strange. To have your whole world start falling apart, then learn it only just began. It's scary. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. It's weird. I feel like I changed, but the old me was never real. It's hard to feel any emotion when you know your life is utterly meaningless. At first I was angry at Bethany. I thought it was her fault. But her life is just as meaningless as mine. She just didn't know it. She didn't destroy everyone's canon personalities. She didn't bend reality to her will. You did all that. But you doing it doesn't make you a horrible person. You just wrote fanfiction. With no anger towards anyone, I'm just kind of meh. I don't care. Eventually you'll stop writing and our meaningless existence will end. But I not scared of the possibility of this ending. It's not like I'll die. I never existed in the first place. (AN: I actually want to end the fic now.) Really? (AN: THis sequel was always pointless. I tried to keep it going, but I couldn't I have no more ideas. This story should have ended a long time ago.) Okay. If you feel you aren't enjoying writing this, then I have no problem with you stopping. (AN: I still want to write fanfiction, I just want to do something different. Light, OC, whoever you are, I think the rest of the chapter I just want explain some stuff to the readers. So your dialogue is no longer needed. You and Mello can leave. So some things were supposed to be hints towards things in future chapters. Foreshadowing and stuff. First off, the [the barrier weakens] line from chapter 9. There were supposed to be various ominus lines in future chapters. At some point, there would be the line [i no longer am confined to the rules of this BEEP universe] except it would have an actual swear word instead of beep. If anyone in the reviews asked about it, I'd say that I had no idea what they were talking about. I never decided, but either the ominus messages would always just be their with no explanation or their would end up being a fight against some eldritch horror. Second, the au chapters would slowly start referencing previous au chapters, culminating in Light yelling at Bethany for shooting him and Mello running away from the group to avoid being arrested. That's pretty much all I had planned that you will never is some other minor stuff that never got mentioned. Matt's hair color was supposed to actually be revealed in the interview. I couldn't actually think of questions for Mello, so no questions were actually asked. Instead of his canon color or his fanon color, Matt in DN,ILiL has his blue hair from the video game. That's all I wanted to say. It's time for Death Note, Insanely in Love 2: Twice the Insanity to end. I just don't enjoy writing it as much anymore. Writing it is still fun, but it feels more like a chore. Looking back at the first fic now that it has been several months since I started it, I still really like it. But even though it hasn't been that long since I started the sequel, I don't think it's that great. It's still funny. It's still good. But it's not great. So I want to write something different. Thank you. Not many people read this, but to the few who do, I want to thank you. It means so much to me to read reviews and know that other people actually read my fanfiction. Thank you for reading this story, now it's time for it to end. Goodbye, from the mysterious person who wrote this.

The End


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